March 27, 2020
Can I tell you a secret?
I was so happy when the University shut its doors and switched to online learning.
I have felt so overwhelmed with my to-do list. I was drowning.
But when I no longer had to go to campus everyday, its was like the tide suddenly went out and I could stand in the water again. I wasn’t drowning anymore. I could catch my breath.
I don’t know what you did during your first few days of self isolation, but I watched Netflix for 3 days straight. It felt so good to turn my brain off for a while, only caring about if Pam and Jim would ever admit their love for each other, if they would catch all of the murders on Forensic Files, and what would happen next in the unknown world of corporate law on Suits.
But then I got bored. The kind of boredom that inspires you to over analyze every aspect of your life until you’re sitting in self pity.
Who knew that constantly scrolling on social media, eating junk food, and wearing a grey sweat suit for days on end would affect my mental health? (I kid you not- I wore grey sweats and a grey sweater like that look was going out of style)
My mind was stuck in a never-ending cycle of questions: Will I ever get to leave my house again? Will I ever see other people in person except my parents and brother again? What will happen in the fall with university? Is God cleansing the earth with a COVID-19 “flood”? People are saying that God isn’t surprised by this pandemic, why would He let it happen?
I’m sure you’ve been thinking about some of these big questions, and others, too.
But, my dear friends, let me shine a little bit of hope into your grey-sweat-suit situation: when things are uncertain, we know with certainty who God is.
- God is faithful (1 Corinthians 10:13)
- God does not change (James 1:17)
- God cares for you (Matthew 6:26)
- God’s way is perfect (Psalm 18:30)
- God is my rock (psalm 62:2)
The list goes on and on! The bible is full of truth about who God is and who we are in Him.
I don’t know why the world feels like its spinning out of control and I don’t know what my future will look like, but I KNOW in the depths of my soul that God is in control and He is with us in our isolation.
Letting go of needing to know the answers to the questions that feel like they are burning a hole in my heart is not easy for me. Here’s a not-so-secret secret for you: I love feeling in control. But I had to chose to either follow those questions into the depths of despair, or to let go and trust in the only thing that is certain right now.
Friends, if you find yourself non-stop watching Netflix, in a grey sweat suit, eating Nutella right out of the container, worried that your hopes and dreams will never come to pass (or whatever your rock bottom looks like), hit pause.
The reality is that you are stuck in isolation for the foreseeable future. Take care of yourself mentally and physically to survive this, because you will survive this!
Take those big questions and stressors off your heart and give them to the Lord. Cry out to Him. He is listening.
Take time to go for a walk or exercise every day. Start small. It helps.
Stop streaming all day every day.
Do something that nourishes and rests your soul. Spend time in the Lords presence, put on worship music and clean your house, read that book that is sitting on your shelf collecting dust, burst out your watercolors and paint, start a puzzle, bake or cook your favorite meal. These are some things that have helped me rest, do what works for you!
But most of all, trust in who God is. Trust that He sees and hears you. And trust that he won’t leave you alone in your grey sweat suit.